Happy International Asexuality Day [6 years and counting!]
International Asexuality Day (IAD) is celebrated annually on April 6 to promote awareness, advocacy, education, and solidarity for the asexual (ACE) community worldwide. Founded in 2021, this global campaign focuses on visibility for the entire ace spectrum—including demisexuality and grey-asexuality—aiming to combat the erasure of asexual identities [Heckin’ Unicorn, 2025].
The core themes of this day revolve around ACES:
A (dvocacy)
C (elebration)
E (ducation)
S (olidarity)
It’s been incredible to see how much progress has occurred within the last 6 years and I’m grateful to be a part of what has helped moved conversations forward towards the inclusion of Asexuality in the world. While I’m all in support of this, I’ve been left with a sour taste in my mouth, especially since diving deeper into the the Asexual flag’s meaning and how our community seems to still lack representation that allows all of us to be seen.
In 2023, I spent time looking into the other Pride Flags in the Queer community and found something in ours that made me feel odd. I asked folks if they knew what the colours of our flag represented. For context, the colour of the Asexual Flag are Black, Grey, White & Purple [Black for Asexuality, Grey for Asexuality and Demisexuality, White for Non-Asexual Partners & Allies and Purple for Community]
Not only did several people not know, even more seemed uncomfortable with the idea that our flag held space for those who were not a part of this community. This sat with me for some time, especially since, within the collective queer community, there has been so much work to remove the attachment of ‘Allies’ to the ‘A’ in the LGBTQIA acronym:
A is Not for Ally: Spare a Thought for Invisible Identities this Pride Month [2018]
In the LGBTQIA+ Community, The A is Not for Ally [2023]
There was even a point in 2017, when I was on the organizing board for MBLGTACC, we advocated for and moved to change the ‘A’ from Allies to ‘Asexual’. This change has been sought out, advocated for and implemented in several ways over many years. Even with the changes towards inclusivity outside of the asexual community, our flag has not kept up-to-date. In 2023, I took it upon myself to ask the AVEN board about the possibility of changing the meaning of the white stripe in the ace flag to something more representative of the community we are all in. During this meeting all members of the AVEN board, minus Yasmin, were present to hear more about this idea. During the conversation, I was not aware of how heated it would be to maintain space for allies in our flag.
As conversation ensued, one of the board members share the reason allies are represented our flag is to show appreciation & acknowledge how much effort and work they have put into making sure that our identity is visible and seen as valid. While I understand the importance of advocacy from others, I do not believe that they deserve a place in a flag, due to the fact that True Allyship involves advocacy of the marginalized group being advocated for. It’s not automatic "membership" into a community simply for holding sympathetic views nor should it take space or take away from those who are part of the community. Not only that, we’ve seen, across marginalized experiences, that Allyship is inconsistent and has been seen / proven to not hold weight when challenged, or when told that more needs to be done to decenter themselves and center those in community who’ve experienced that harm and need the most support. I will always appreciate those who understand and do the work that goes into being a true advocate for marginalized communities, while understanding that, at the end of the day, the focus needs to be on us.
During this meeting, I stated that this desire to over center allies is unhelpful, I even made the comparison to The Black Lives Matter movements, and how over centering white and non-Black people in the space takes away from the meaning of the movement and the necessary steps people need to take to make sure that Black people are the ones whose voices are being amplified in the space. When I said this, the space was filled with silence and blank stares by the board; the meeting of five, including myself, quickly turn to a meeting of four. I was shocked that this lead to such discomfort. Despite my impassioned statement, the same individual on the board continued to state that allies need to have a place in our flag, and need to be represented.
As the conversation continued, I suggested creating a survey to ask those within the asexual community how they felt about changing the meaning of the white stripe to something more inclusive, and despite this individual, stating that they were in opposition to this change, they agreed to support. One other person on the board also shared that they we're on board for the change, so long as the purple stayed in the flag. From there, I created the Ace Flag Revision Survey and shared this on my page to get more insight from those within the community.
At first, several of the responses I gained were negative. I was bombed with comments stating that ‘I did not know the history of the flag’, ‘this change was unnecessary’, ‘You’re being disrespectful’ and that ‘I didn't know what I was talking about’. Despite these comments leaving me distressed and defeated, I left the survey up to hear what other people had to say. From this, I gained a lot more insight that was justified around the desire to change this meaning in our flag. I concluded the data collection of a survey in Fall 2025 and shared the results on the Ace In Grace Instagram Page.
The results that came from the survey showed me that many people weren't comfortable with ‘Allies’ being over-centered in the Ace Flag & part of our history, and many more people were excited about the possibility of this change happening. I shared the results and the raw data with the AVEN board with the intention of having a follow up conversation that would lead to a change. Instead, what I was met with was a generic response, stating that they reviewed what I shared and would reach back out.
You can guess that no follow up was had and I was left with no resolution. This continued to leave me with frustrations within the community [if you wonder why I take long breaks from posting on Ace In Grace, this is part of that reason] that I’m suppose to be represented by and the ways that intercommunity conversations occur when yet again, Allyship is being challenged.
So this International Asexuality Day, I have taken upon myself to move towards no longer asking for permission from those who are in power. I feel as though 15+ years is long enough to have a flag that does not fully represent those in community and to create one that does. Allowing people to, not only understand what each colour shown means, but be proud to wear it and wave it around, knowing that they are represented appropriately. I’ve kept in mind the options that people have shared and suggested from the survey and here’s what I'm sharing with the community as the new Asexual Flag moving forward in 2026.
Black: Represents Connection, Support & Understanding
Grey: Acknowledges Asexuality as a Spectrum of identities [Grey, Demi, MircoLabels]
Off White: Awareness and Appreciation
Cream/Pastel Yellow: Acknowledges our community as a collection of diverse experiences that allow us all to connect with others and to our joy more intentionally
Pink: Represents & Acknowledges that the Love we experience is true, expansive and diverse [centers all forms of love, romantic, platonic, QPR, Aromantic]
Violet: Inner work towards self preservation and community care
Dark Fuchsia / Purple: Represents The Asexual Community and Visibility from within and the worlds around us.
This is my contribution to the community that has provided me space and a platform to advocate from within. By no means am I forcing you to stop using the flag was established 15+ years ago, by the contrary, please feel free to use both! I’m only stating that since I’ve made my way in to this space, I’ve found myself distancing from this flag and have decided to create on that represents me and the work I will continue to do.
Overall, This International Asexuality Day has proven eventful across the board. Yasmin has been doing a lot of work as well with organizations that support advocacy work of the Asexual Community, do your best to support these efforts when they come across your page!
I’m excited to hear from the rest of community on how the ‘New Asexual Flag’ may resonate with ya’ll. I believe change from within is what inspires changes from others and I hope this can be a step towards that, for everyone who finds there way into this community.
As always, take care of yourselves, of each other and make sure you enjoy a sweet treat when you can!
-Ashabi~
People are always going to be resistant to change, even I was like *wait no a new flag??* when I first saw you post about this on Instagram, but I love the meaning and look for the new flag and I was already in the camp that was uncomfortable with allies being represented in the flag (in large part due to, as you said, the conflations of allies with the "A"). I also appreciate that you're not asking people to stop using the original flag. I'm definitely going to use both! I love the original flag and have so many fond memories associated with it (like a dress I hand-sewed in those colors and wore to a pride parade) but change can be a good thing, and I'd love to see more people recognizing and using this new flag!
I really like the new flag. It has also felt strange how uncentered asexuality was in the meanings behind the colors of the asexual flag. I do still enjoy the color scheme, but I love the categories you included in your new flag. I hope it catches on and that those in AVEN will hear the concerns of the ace community at large. It’s time that we celebrate ourselves in what we experience and not what we lack.